Another Findom Relapse (Podcast)
Arguing with a FinDom about what counts as harm, plus three posts on findom and neediness.
House Slave Fag sent to the Dangerous FinDom for the first time in three months — and when he called it a relapse, the FinDom got upset. The episode opens with a musings segment on that argument: about relapsing and about recognizing harm.
Three blog posts on financial domination follow, on the day he sent, on becoming a finsub, and on why neediness is just what a good FinDom wants to see, unlike anyone else.
Contact the author at HouseSlaveFag@gmail.com or at X.com/HSFaggot.
Topics in this episode
- Relapsing to the Dangerous FinDom (10:53)
- The finsub's State of Mind (16:20)
- Neediness: Hot or Not? (22:38)
- Conclusion (29:28)
Blog posts narrated in this episode
House Slave Fag
House Slave Fag
House Slave Fag
Books mentioned in this episode
- Becoming a Slave: books2read.com/subjourney1
- My Master & Me: books2read.com/subjourney2
- Submitting to Master Macho: books2read.com/macho1
More episodes, stories, and weekly bonus musings at houseslavefag.com/podcast.
Listen to this episode here, on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.
House Slave Fag
Transcript
Hi there,
Welcome to another episode of "A Fag's Journey into Submission." I am your host, House Slave Fag.
Today's episode is all about financial domination. I'm opening with a musings segment — the kind I usually keep for premium subscribers — and after that I'll read you three blog posts I wrote this week.
I called it "Another Findom Relapse" because I sent to the Dangerous FinDom again, for the first time in three months. Funny enough, I just came off a brief text exchange with him, and he was surprisingly pissed at me for calling it a relapse. We both looked up the definition in the dictionary and somehow read it differently. When speaking of the behavior with addiction, a relapse means going back to old, harmful actions.
Eventually I understood that the point of disagreement was that he wasn't willing to label my recent behavior as harmful. More concretely, he meant I haven't done much damage (yet). Honestly, at first I wasn't really bothered by his different understanding, and I only wondered why he got so upset. Was he really that frustrated because I hadn't sent him enough to qualify anything I did as harmful? Or was he just feigning annoyance as a gaslighting tactic in order to bring me to accept his point of view, so I could let myself get worse?
I'll get to where the harm was in a minute. But first let me say that I realized there was a third, more worrying option. That he truly didn't see the harm in me losing another $100 after staying safe for three months or huffing again, after swearing it off.
Yeah. It was the huffing part that scared me more than the sending. Not that I wanted to lose more money, but health matters more, and I already know the risks. At first I thought I'd only huff once, to see if it would increase my urge to send to him, but the next day I huffed more, as I listened to his voice, guiding me to huff. That made me send again, but not as much as I thought I would and not every time I huffed. That encouraged me. I was also encouraged because I wasn't feeling the strong urge I normally would to surrender all my earnings from other finsubs to him, and this happened to be a good week. I sent him $100 out of the $180 I earned from two subs. Not all of it, which for me counts as an achievement. But I knew I couldn't be complacent. The next day when I still felt a cough and knew my throat had been compromised from the huffing, I tried to hang onto that and recall that there are far greater dangers from huffing, including to my vision and even my heart.
House Slave Fag
I know a lot of people use it and may think I'm being an alarmist. So I'll stop here on the topic of huffing, and if you want more you can look up an earlier blog post which was also on my podcast, in which I said more about the risks. You could also ask your AI about it, though you may be interested in hearing from my experience.
I think most of us can agree that there was harm in returning to addiction, whether it's sending or huffing, both of them real addictions. Just because they're psychological addictions, that doesn't make them less dangerous. What can be debated was how far I've gone, or how much I was at risk of escalation.
But somehow, just like the last time I disengaged from the Dangerous FinDom, I feel like it's more thanks to his doing than mine, for picking a fight, just when I was on the cusp of submitting further and sending again. I will take credit however for making a deliberate choice to hold on to his behavior as a reason to break away. His reasoning reminded me that he can't see harm. One could argue there's little harm in sending $100 and huffing a few times. That's debatable. But it can't be argued that there's zero harm in that, or that it doesn't pose a risk of escalation into far greater harm.
In our texting now, I was actually fishing for him to tease me. To pull me into sending him more. A FinDom should always recognize such an opening. I shared that I was considering whether I should finally cum, to release myself from the mindfuck of not cumming for five days, and through that — from the relapse. I presented the alternative, that I should stay horny, as I knew he'd prefer me not to cum. For whatever reason, he picked a fight over the term 'relapse' (while describing me as combative — even though I was obviously pushing myself to surrender further to him). He could have made me docile, but he forced an argument I was not planning to have.
It still surprises me how someone who's so smart and successful in findom could so easily mess up an easy opportunity for another drain, not to mention the potential for my escalation over the coming months. After all, this relapse has already drained more out of me than my previous relapse. But then I recall that he's very young, so some impulses may be harder to manage without more maturity.
Please, don’t look him up. Trust me, in spite of the little fiasco I just described, he could easily ruin you. I swear I’m not saying this to tease you, but because if I’m damned to share the story of my journey into submission, I should warn you.
Unfortunately, I’m afraid there are two curses at play. First, I’ve been compelled to blog and eventually also podcast about my submission when I started engaging with another FinDom who had the power of suggestion, almost three years ago. Be my guest and scroll back to my earliest content. I merely listened to a few audio files and since then I felt the need to submit lower and share about my submission, even exhibit it whenever I can, like wearing my chastity cage to the sauna and cruising bars. So that’s the first curse. It’s an expensive curse to maintain, but it's fun.
The second curse worries me more. What if just like Cassandra I’m damned to warn fags about risks in kink, in particular the Dangerous FinDom, only to see you fall into the same traps I warned you from?
A case in point is a sub who has sent me $66 over the last week, and decided it was not enough. He needed to know who I was submitting to. Despite my warnings and refusal to disclose who the Dangerous FinDom was, the finsub didn’t give up and eventually found the FinDom and exposed his own cashhole to him.
It doesn’t take much for a FinDom to be on to you. You scroll through a FinDom’s feed and you may just find some appeal, even if he’s not your type, because he might be very skilled at using suggestion, so that anyone — and I do mean anyone — might fall into his web, or into Daddy’s lap, if you will. Liking a FinDom’s post —not to mention many posts — is a sure way to get noticed and become vulnerable to exploitation. It’s classic prey hoping to get caught by the predator. The prey might not admit it to himself, but the predator knows better. And sure enough, that finsub sent his first tribute to him.
For my part, I couldn't help it — I had to blog about my experience (which piqued the finsub's curiosity) and I had to submit to the Dangerous FinDom, while I was still struggling with getting out of this latest relapse. But that other sub wouldn’t have been exposed to the Dangerous FinDom if I hadn’t discovered his cashhole in the first place. I mean — if I hadn't made him realize that he was a finsub. That’s right, I broke his findom virginity. I was the first he sent a tribute to.
The finsub was kind to express worry about me, but he didn't need to. Let's not reverse roles. I have another fag to support me and keep me in check from danger. I want the finsub to stay safe and I didn't like how he disobeyed explicit orders and exposed himself to the Dangerous FinDom. I never mean to put anyone in harm's way and that's why so much of this segment is a public service announcement. But don't worry, the rest of what I have for you today is all about getting a good mindfuck, and if you feel inclined, you're welcome to send me a tribute.
Just to be sure it's going to be easier for me to get out of this relapse, I texted my Master now for permission to cum, and I'll go ahead and release.
Now, let me share a brief scene from Kaiserbründl sauna here in Vienna. I went there on Saturday around 6 p.m., which should normally be a good time to go, but there was also a heat wave, so there weren't that many guys there. The few hot guys there weren't playing much. So all I ended up doing was sucking off one guy in the steam room.
It was hard to see him clearly because it was quite dark. I thought I saw a handsome face, perhaps a decade older than me, in his fifties, but I really wasn't sure. He was more slim than athletic, which is not my usual type. But he had a nice thick cock. I love thick cocks!
So I came closer and we started touching each other. I then grabbed his cock. I loved feeling its girth in my hand, even as it was flaccid. I crouched and took it into my mouth. It really was thick and I enjoyed sucking it for a good couple of minutes. When I stood up again, I hugged him roughly. I wanted more. As he was slim, I felt like I needed to grab more, and I really enveloped him with my arms. I realized I was bigger and more muscular than him. But he had the large tasty cock, and I was happy to crouch again and suck a little more.
Finally, I got up again, and he signaled that he wanted to get out of the steam room. I led the way. Outside, I asked him if he'd like to go to a cabin. He touched my cage and asked, "How? Will you take it off?" Only then did it occur to me to ask if he was a bottom, and it turned out he was.
So I didn't get to bottom for anyone that evening, but I somehow left pleased with myself. I wasn't going to fuck that guy, despite his apparent wishes, but I felt like fucking more cashhole.
Moving on, here are the three blog posts I wrote this week, all of them about findom. The first one, "Relapsing to the Dangerous FinDom," is the play-by-play of the day I sent. I wrote it while I was still in the mindfuck. Then "The Finsub's State of Mind," about how I got from cocksucker to bottom to finsub, and what it means to have a third hole to fill. And the last one, "Neediness: Hot or Not?" — everyone will tell you neediness is a turn-off, but a FinDom might be the one man who finds it hot. What can I say, being horny gets my creative juices going.
Conclusion
One thing about the neediness post before I let you go. I wrote it feeling pretty good about being needy, and I still do. But the reason it works with a good FinDom is that he’s actually paying attention to you. And despite how many FinDoms are advertising themselves online, that’s not always so easy to find. So take your time finding one.
As for the relapse — I'm still not out of the woods. I prepared the musings you heard at the beginning of this episode a few days ago, and I was pleased with myself that after cumming that day, I was able to avoid sending to the Dangerous FinDom again. I huffed once more, but I wasn't driven to send. But you never know, and sure enough, I huffed once and sent him another $10 tribute this morning. That's modest, I know, but it's not nothing, and if I'm not careful, it will lead to more.
If the huffing or the sending is hitting close to home for you, please talk to someone qualified about it. Your health must be top priorities for you, as well as your financial wellbeing. There's a difference between finding some pleasure in sending, and losing yourself in addiction.
I know it's easy to confuse the two. After all, sending is fun. But it's not safe to play with someone like the Dangerous FinDom. Another FinDom I used to serve has been liking some of my tweets recently, as an obvious attempt to get on my radar again, and he's not wrong. However, neither of them has limits.
Contrast that with me, in my other role. I know how a finsub's mind works because I am one myself, and I just told you I sent a tribute this morning I shouldn't have. That's why I can drain you safely and still make it feel good: I've been on the other side of it.
I know it can be tricky to surrender to me, because a part of a finsub's submission might be to seek that self-ruin, even if you prefer not to admit it. And here you'd go leaking for a man who refuses to ruin you and even suggests putting tight controls over your budgeting. You're excited by the control, but being safe doesn't seem sexy. Until you realize that you are still losing money to me and that it feels good. So let yourself drain for me, knowing that ultimately you'll be safe.
Fuck, draining does feel good. And I love that I can give finsubs that pleasure. All you have to do is ask. You can message me on X at HSFaggot or find my email in the show notes. And push that send button at Throne.com/HouseSlaveFag. Just be my good boi.
I'll talk to you soon and I'll bring you the third book in my series, collected from the blog, titled Around the World, Locked. That one collects the posts about travelling while caged. Two books in the series are already out — Becoming a Slave and My Master & Me. You’ll find all the links in the show notes.
And if you’re enjoying the show, follow it wherever you listen. Leave a review — it really does help others find the show — and send it to someone you think would like it.
Thank you for listening. Until next time, be well, be good, and have fun.