The FinDom I Chose: Chapter 4

So I built a comprehensive dashboard to let Master control_twink monitor my progress and I managed to send him one more coffee through Throne’s buggy website. But his attention to me was limited this past week and I have a feeling it’s not my fault, even if it's normal for attention to be dependent on more tributes. My opinion is that regardless of my limited tributes due to my own anxious state of mind after going over my finances, it’s also up to the FinDom to tease and squeeze more out of the sub’s cashhole. And I suspect Master control_twink was simply busy with other things this week, because he wasn’t tweeting much either.

My cooling off a bit from sending to Master control_twink didn’t mean I was safe from leaking more to others. Contrary to my past experience of locking onto one FinDom at a time, in what you may call serial monogamy, I felt the urge to send to other compelling FinDoms. The Dangerous FinDom didn't manage to discourage me either, and I actually have him to blame for exposing me to two other interesting FinDoms through duo Spaces on X that they co-hosted.

Let me introduce them before focusing on the topic of FinDom monogamy vs. slutting out. And before I upset Master control_twink, I want to say that I don’t consider this a competition between them. I'm beneath all of them anyway, including Master control_twink.

The first FinDom I sent to this week was Master Cashtwunk. He’s a slim, toned, young Asian FinDom. He has a mysterious, seductive voice, somehow between soft and hoarse, and it feels like he's swirling his tongue in my ear. He keeps going on and on and on. He holds a lot of Spaces and he keeps them going for hours, without losing focus. He also keeps his audience captivated. I'll share about his Spaces on another occasion. You have to admire his stamina: how long he persists with active, engaging X Spaces; how deep and long he cashfucks; and, I like to imagine, how hard he fucks guys in real life.

That last part isn't really hard to imagine. Just like Master JJ and Master control_twink, he shows his cock…a lot. Seeing their cumshots adds to the mindfuck because it makes me think about their virility, and the pleasure they get and deserve from fucking my cashhole or fucking anyone else’s holes.

Master JJ doesn’t hold as many X Spaces but he has incredible abs and the bulge in one of his ripped-abs photos hit me just right. I needed to submit to him.

Both of the new Masters have one more thing that is critical for me besides being verbal and cocky, or having a nice body and cock. They have social proof of their success. Master JJ has over 66,000 followers and Master Cashtwunk regularly runs his Spaces into thousands of dollars, and his all-time leaderboard on Throne includes three finsubs who have each sent well over ten thousand dollars. And fuck me, over the last month at least three subs sent him well over three thousand dollars each. The best way to describe this is as an incredible XXL cashcock!

The image of Master Cashtwunk's huge cashcock was all I could think of as I was in front of the muscular attendant back at the bakery. Just as the other day, I was taking too long to tell him what I wanted, because I was too distracted, whether by the cashcock in my mind, or the muscles bulging through the attendant's tight white shirt.

"Ah, I'll have a cappuccino and a slice of apricot cake, the Marillenkuchen please, Sir," I said, adding that "Sir" at the end absentmindedly, though I suppose it was appropriate, considering our previous interactions.

I took a seat, and after a few moments I saw his colleague holding a tray with what I presumed was my order. The muscular attendant who had taken my order said something to him and nodded in my direction. I thought I saw him smirk.

His colleague was slimmer, but also athletic. He was an Asian man in his twenties. He reminded me of one of the men whose cashcock was now inside my mind: Master Cashtwunk.

"There you go, faggot," he said, as he set the cappuccino and cake on my table.

"Umm, thank you, Sir," I said, a little embarrassed that my role hadn't been kept secret by his muscular colleague.

"Don't forget to leave a tribute before you go, faggot," he said.

"Ah, you mean a tip?" I asked.

"Call it what you want," he said, and walked away behind the counter.

As I took my first bite of the cake, I tried to regather my thoughts, to get back to the essay I was sharing with you. I was just thinking about the concept of serving more than one FinDom at a time, and I may have just met another FinDom in real life, who had me passed to him by his colleague.

So I’d like to explore how I feel about cashslutting vs. monogamous findom. And I want to look at it in comparison to other ways I relate to men. For romantic relationships, my heart is on the monogamous end of the spectrum. I want to give my heart to one man to love and to hold. For casual sex, I want many men to use my ass and mouth. Unlike my heart, my holes are on the sluttier end, wanting to open up for many men, as is my holes’ nature. For some reason I thought my mind — or my cashhole, if you will — was closer to monogamous. Or at least that it kept me focused on one FinDom at a time, even if each findom lapse lasted no longer than a couple of months. However, while focusing on one FinDom, I can be involved with multiple other men: a partner, an Owner, and hookups.

Over the last week I had a different experience, rotating between four FinDoms, not just one. The Dangerous FinDom, Master control_twink, Master JJ, and Master Cashtwunk.

I don’t often find FinDoms who really trigger me, so I was surprised that I needed to leak to a few at the same time. I didn’t even feel especially vulnerable, as I came every few days (even when I locked myself in chastity some of the time). Lucky me that I felt this pleasurable mindfuck despite the releases!

Being naturally eager to please, I don’t want to offend anyone. But that can pull me in two opposite directions: on the one hand feeling obliged to remain loyal to one FinDom, so as not to offend him, and on the other hand, being compelled to send to other very worthy FinDoms who deserve my tributes.

That said, let’s disabuse ourselves of the idea that there’s anything wrong with slutting out financially, or even becoming a cash cumdump. If a FinDom is possessive of his finsub, he might tell him that he mustn’t waste cash on other FinDoms. Or just advise him that he’d lose interest in him and stop giving him his attention. If those are the terms, the finsub still has the right to choose whether to keep submitting.

I can share that the Dangerous FinDom claimed to be really upset, saying he didn't want to hear about other Doms, and that money should only be sent to him. To me, he was pushing his claim over me too far, gaslighting me into sending him more and feeling guilty about having sent to anyone other than him. That is not what I want from any Master, particularly one who doesn’t own me, even though I've sent him more than all my other FinDoms combined. My periods of submission to him have always been limited in duration and I'd rather have avoided them. He is not the FinDom I choose, despite my continued tributes to him.

As a finsub, as much as I aim to please, I’m still aiming to maximize my own pleasure too. Before you jump in and say finsubs shouldn’t seek reciprocity, I'd argue that this term isn’t even relevant to a sub in the way non-kinksters perceive it. Otherwise we'd say a tribute from the sub should be reciprocated with a tribute from the Dom, or that if I give a blowjob, I should get one in return. But why would I ever want that from a Dom using me? I want pleasure but I get it from other things, like the very act of submission. I get it also from the cock filling my mouth or my cashhole. The acknowledgment that I’m a good boi can give me a lot of pleasure too. So those are things I may legitimately expect from a FinDom I serve, and he may just as well choose to deny them to me, if my submission to other FinDoms doesn’t fit his terms.

This week I discovered I might enjoy serving more than one FinDom at a time, so a FinDom who is cool with that may be more appealing to me. If I come to adopt this cashslut mindset, just as with regular sex, I will need the freedom — or at least some autonomy — in choosing which Doms I send to. Just like with my Owner for the past six years, who decides who I can meet and play with. So a FinDom who owns me financially would ideally consider my requests to send to others and let me send at least to some of them. However, reaching that level of commitment with my Owner required time and the development of trust. I’d need that with a FinDom who collars me too. I shouldn’t be expected to stay exclusive when a relationship with a FinDom is still at the short-term phase, lasting no more than a couple of months at a time.

I know that doesn’t sit well with every FinDom. Perhaps the idea of agency for the finsub seems too odd to some. But it’s worth recalling that submission is given by the sub, not taken by the Dom, and trust is earned on both sides. Just like any sub, the finsub surrenders his power to the FinDom. Consent is imperative. Coercion and blackmail are not really sexy, except perhaps in some fantasies.

I did a survey on X that got 137 responses. Here's what people thought about submitting to more than one FinDom at a time:

• 16% said it's legit fun for the finsub;
• 18% said it's disloyal;
• 26% said it's tolerable with permission; and
• 40% said it's hot. Pass him around!

I would accept the third option, as I do with my Owner, outside of findom. I play with other men, but only with his permission. It's frustrating because it means I can meet less than half of the guys I want, but it's the price I accept for being his. I could see a similar scenario playing out with a FinDom I become especially attached to.

However, I'm sure it won't surprise you that I'm glad the winning option was "Pass him around." Being a slut who is eager to have more sexual experiences, I guess I can't always be satisfied with just one FinDom. Just like in real life, I don't expect any one guy to satisfy all my sexual desires. After all, every man is different, with his own pluses and minuses, and FinDoms are just as diverse. I might be drawn to something different in every FinDom and put off by other traits. So submitting to multiple FinDoms makes sense to me.

Taking it a step further, being passed around could be even hotter…having one FinDom share or pimp me out to his other FinDom buddies just like men can do that at a sex party. The irony though is that I'm just as finicky about being pimped out in findom as in real life. I'd want to go all in as a cash cumdump, but I know I'm not triggered to submit to just any FinDom, same as it's not appealing to take cock from just any man. I'm picky. But then again, being pushed by an encouraging Dom onto another man's cock does have its own appeal. I want to let him use me more, even if that means being slutted out to another man or FinDom I'm not as hot for.

"I would also pick the option of passing you around," the Asian attendant suddenly said, snapping me out of my thoughts. I hadn't realized he was standing over me, peering over the survey and my notes.

I looked up at him and I didn't need a reminder about the tribute. I handed him a five-euro bill, hoping that would be enough, at least for a first time.

"Good boi," he said. "Now, what do you say?" he asked.

"Thank you, Sir," I replied.

"You're welcome, faggot," he said, and walked away.

I could go on and on discussing the different options from that survey and the merits of each. I could debate deep spiraling and obsessing over one FinDom vs. cashcock guzzling for every hot FinDom. Until this week, I was sure I knew which FinDom I'd chosen in this story. Now I realize my choice might change, and I might even end up spreading my cashhole for a number of FinDoms, with no commitment to any single one, as I'm hungry for all their cashcocks. Let's see what happens.