Neediness: Hot or Not?
A FinDom might be the one true exception who finds neediness hot, but finding the right FinDom is hard.
It’s common knowledge that neediness is a turn-off for most people. It’s interpreted as self-abasing, because someone who recognizes their self-worth wouldn’t stoop so low, right? Neediness (some might say eagerness) signals the opposite of confidence, and confidence is what everyone finds hot.
A cumdump begging every man to fuck him is considered worthless, despite his selfless and valuable service to the community. The irony is that judgment sometimes comes from tops who are looking for guys to fuck at a sauna or sex party.
Attitudes toward cumdumps can be harsher in the dating scene. That's slut-shaming. To be hot, you can't be seen as putting out for everyone. Otherwise, if it seems like anyone can fuck you, guys will think you're not special enough for them to pursue you for dating.
It can be frustrating to try to find the right balance between communicating just enough interest without seeming too eager. A FinDom might be the one true exception who finds neediness hot. With a FinDom you don't have to pretend. He allows needy faggots to express themselves freely and be who they are. A good FinDom encourages a sub to show how much he needs to submit, and how badly he craves the FinDom’s attention and validation.
There's an obvious reason FinDoms support neediness. That’s where FinDoms can ultimately collect. But to be clear, they don't hide their motive to collect tributes. They (or we, as I collect tributes too) are completely transparent about it. We tell subs they'll enjoy getting their cashholes fucked but we also tell them we'll feel good getting our money from them. Regardless of our motivation, the pleasure that a finsub gets from draining is real. There's nothing wrong with a FinDom getting paid for helping you find more pleasure. A therapist gets paid too and still helps their patient.
Show your appreciation with enough bills falling out of your mouth or tributes leaking out of your cashhole to the FinDom's bank account, and you might just get the “good boi” praise you want. You just need to send more, and more, and more.
A finsub doesn’t need to pretend he’s not desperate for men to use him. He just needs to find the right one to understand him, get into his head, and thoroughly mindfuck him — to the point that the finsub would be primed to deepen the mindfuck on his own and want to submit even more. That happens when the sub is horny enough to let down his guard for the FinDom, to allow him to take control, and follow his lead toward deeper submission and bigger sends.
Don't assume it’s easy to find a good FinDom just because there are so many of them. I once wrote about how hard it was to find real TPE (total power exchange) Masters. In the case of FinDoms, too, special skills are required. Just like you might feel the difference between an excellent, observant psychologist and an average one. What’s more, there needs to be a match between the FinDom and the finsub, because every finsub is wired differently. Even the most skillful FinDom can’t push every finsub’s buttons.
House Slave Fag
But back to neediness. The right FinDom would not discourage a fag’s neediness. He would nourish it by praising it and letting the fag feel the pleasure of having it supported by his superior. A good FinDom would let him enjoy it so much that the fag would feel an almost physical need to send more — as a token of his appreciation for all that pleasure. He’d be rewarding skill, attention, validation, pleasure, and a sense of belonging. That belonging comes not only from the FinDom's ownership of him, but from acceptance of his place as one of that FinDom’s subs, and as a part of the wider finsub community.
I could trace this handling of neediness back to every FinDom I’ve ever sent to. They let me express my neediness and I ended up sending them hundreds of dollars in tributes over time. When I consider my interactions with some Masters (not only FinDoms), I realize that it's not so much about actively nourishing neediness as about simply observing and accommodating it — picking up the signals of what the sub needs and letting him know that he can go deeper in exploring those needs.
In a series of four posts titled Mindfucked into Desperation, I wrote about a Dom I didn’t get to meet, or send to, unfortunately. While I couldn't meet him, I kept imagining ways he could use me, even going beyond my limits at one point, when I decided I just needed the pleasure of fantasizing about being used by him. He didn’t even need to do much, as I was essentially mindfucking myself based on the inertia of his Alpha image and expression. “I love knowing I could break you if I wanted to,” he said, and he was right.
House Slave Fag
Neediness doesn’t begin to describe my state of mind when I engaged with that Dom. So he probably missed an opportunity to use me hard — for sex, chores, and cash. My wish to serve him was so strong. All I needed was for him to say the word. At that point I was primed to be triggered to do anything.
So there you have it. Neediness is not just a strong desire, but a state of mind in which the sub could be easily triggered to submit, literally open-minded to receive greater demands than he normally would. He can’t wait to have all of his holes gaped, whether by a real thick cock or a persuasive cashcock.
Back in the vanilla world we have to be careful about showing our neediness. Most people don't find it hot. That's true even in our kinky bubble, although it may be more tolerated, because submission is embraced. But it really gets hot when an unabashed finsub finds a connection with a FinDom who is equipped to receive his submission. Such FinDoms are rarer than it might seem, considering how many FinDoms are advertising online. When the right match is finally found, neediness can be hot and it's something a needy finsub and his FinDom can celebrate with pride.
Disclaimer: While most of my fans are men having sex with men, that's not 100% of them and I want to be 100% inclusive. Of course the cumdumps I speak of can be women too or non-binary. And some subs fantasize or even get to experience sissification — sometimes as a way to submit lower, giving up their masculinity to a man. You can see that playing out in my book, Submitting to Master Macho.
Celebrate your neediness with pride!
Just $end!
🤑