The FinDom I Chose: Chapter 1
Submitting to a New UK FinDom in Every Way I Can Find
I may have found a new FinDom Master to serve. I only saw his X account a couple of days ago and I already sent him a first tribute. "First" being a key word to signal that I can imagine there will be more. Serving him seems like a good idea. So much so that I'm already writing about it.
I've been thinking of starting a whole book series focused on financial domination. These thoughts resurface every time I'm in a relapse, and I've been in one over the last month. My problem was that I felt constrained because I didn't want to write too much about the Dangerous FinDom to whom I've been sending money again. You see, even though I got tempted again to send to the Dangerous FinDom (who knows how to push all my buttons), I don't want to expose my fans to him. That’s because I feel he is really dangerous for subs who wouldn't stop themselves and would get addicted to sending, huffing, and god knows what else. The Dangerous FinDom won't stop them from ruining themselves. So even if I'm tempted again to submit to him, I feel a responsibility toward my fans not to push them down there. As I said before: Do as I say, don't do as I do.
House Slave Fag
In comes a new successful FinDom I haven't seen before. He has the advantage in that I'm primed for sending, not only because I have been sending several times over the last month, but because I haven't cum in a week, so I'm a little mindfucked right now.
Another advantage is that I can feel comfortable talking about him on X, my podcast, and what may become my next fantasy book. Or perhaps a mix of fantasy and reality — because I'll engage with him through X. Maybe I'll even travel and meet him in person one day. I love sharing my experiences and thoughts about the men who use me, so if I can do that with this new Master, that's great, because I have a natural need to exhibit my submission — to share it with all of you. And in fact, just writing about a Master, spending time to carefully plan my submission to him, is the best way I have to self-mindfuck even deeper for him.
House Slave Fag
It's time to introduce him. I'm talking about control_twink from X, apparently based in Scotland. Notice the excellent tagline on his bio: "Let me mess with your head, baby." That tells me he's a Master who knows what it's all about. Or at least that he's focused on the thing that makes me send tributes. I don't get triggered so much by hot muscular biceps or even a huge thick dick, but by a good mindfuck…that’s perfect for me. Not that those other things don't matter, but the main thing is moving my thought process toward submission and sending.
Which isn't to say the body plays no part. Master control_twink does seem to have a very large cock, from what I can see in his clips. That's not why I chose to send to him, but it can help me send more, the more I think about it. Just like it happened with the Dangerous FinDom and Master Ginger Dom before him (see my post "Spiraling into Financial Domination"). Both of them drained a lot out of me. I can't help imagining them feeding me their huge cocks (even if they won't). Then I associate their large cocks with their large cashcocks. That is to say, just as they're able to fuck someone's holes hard, they can fuck my cashhole hard, as I see from the history of tributes on their Throne pages.
As I'm writing this I am thinking about ways to submit more to him. Such as the simplest one: bending every facet of my writing towards him. Perhaps only people from the UK or real geeks like me (and my editor sub) saw what I did there, but somehow it felt hot to mess up my American-style writing and submit to his spelling of 'towards', rather than 'toward', and the way he uses single quotation marks and he leaves punctuation outside them. Which is actually the more logical way — I'm happy to give him and his people that.
I hope you can appreciate that nerdy level of submission, on top of every other way I may need to submit to him, not least by sending. That is, I hope I will need to submit to him. Because just that feeling of needing to submit — of finding any way to submit, even quirky ways sometimes — that's where a sub's pleasure comes from.
In this case, submitting to him through language is no small matter for me. Consider that I'm a fag with very strict standards and limits, so breaking these rules is a big deal. However, stretching your limits for a Dom can feel so awesome. It's the ultimate act of submission — actual surrender of power and authority to a Dom. Besides, I don't mind if he thinks it makes me cheaper or sluttier, offering myself to serve in anyone's dialect or language. Oh, how I loved his invitation to join his harem. I do wonder if he likes us to be slutty. I'm sure as any FinDom he wouldn't want me to share my cashhole with others, but what about my asshole? Some of them like to slut us out — some even for money. Or make us to submit to sissification. Who knows, but I'm sure I'll find out soon what he likes and how he'd like to use me.
So more about him. Apparently he loves using house slaves, which is my favorite way to serve. He seems to take pleasure in managing slaves' chores and even adding to their workload. That kind of fussiness is less attractive to me, since I'm not into doing chores just for the sake of it. Adding chores of no value seems to border on abuse. I serve because I want to add value, to make a Master's life better. In one of his clips he gets very detailed about all the little things he'd make the slave do, and how he's made it harder by throwing more clothes on the floor on purpose. I know that can excite some subs, because seeing a sub used harder can be a turn-on. But to me that bit came off as a bit anal — and not in the way I like — and was more of a turn-off, to be honest.
All this to say that I get to choose the Masters I want to serve, taking into account the whole package — what I like and what I don't. Like I can also ignore his foot fetish. That one is not a turn-off for me, but if you put too much of it in front of my face it can be. Don't get me wrong, I'm happy to massage and even lick feet — on the condition that they're clean — but it's on rare occasions that I'd get excited by it.
Submitting to a Master with all his pluses and minuses can be hotter. It makes you conscious that you're choosing to serve him. You want to submit. You want to give him control over you. You want to surrender your power to him. And that just feels so good.
Consider this to be Chapter One of a new story.
Book Three from my blog is now available in digital bookstores!
It is my honest, first-person account of cruising the world locked in chastity: gay cruise ships, Mexico City, Berlin, Vienna, Paris, Taipei, New York and Philadelphia. A year and a half of saunas, sex clubs and dark rooms, under my Master's rules from a distance, as my limits keep moving.